1.) help myself
If I do not take care of myself, I cannot take care of anything. Without my mental and physical health intact, I am unable to maintain and obtain normal relationships or fulfilling activities. Given my blue collar background, this has been a tough lesson. The working class is generally encouraged to suck it up and clock in on time. I tried to want a serious career that will take over my life so I can retire when I'm too exhausted to enjoy my time off. I tried to swallow my feelings and be the perfect mate, the perfect employee, and the perfect friend. None of that shit works. Rubbing some dirt on it doesn't. work.2.) help others
I just want to help someone get through the day. I believe that making someone else's day a little bit easier, a little bit better, is a basic courtesy. It costs nothing and rewards the giver and receiver. There is no good reason to go through life alone and without help.3.) educate myself about depression
Life is a lesson. I'm going to learn everything I can and pass as much of my knowledge along as possible. I hope to absorb the wisdom gained from other people's experiences, too, without having to go through the messy inconvenience of living them.4.) educate others about depression
I must gain insight from my experiences because, otherwise, they're a waste. If that insight and hope can be spread around, then all the better.4b.) Reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness
stigma
mə
1. a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.
I'm not a doctor.
Despite my best efforts to start a private practice, I can't "practice medicine" without a "medical degree."I only have my own experience and research. I do not have all of the answers for everyone (or even myself). I can tell you what works for me. I can offer up my friends' advice and my family's supportive words, but I cannot (and should not) diagnose your life for you. I can tell you what works for me. Maybe it will work for you.
Sadness is to depression as a sneeze is to a cold.
When you let loose with a big sneeze, people might think you have a cold. Sure, people sneeze when they have colds, but that's not the only reason you might do it. Maybe you're experiencing a large intake of dust after rearranging your bookshelves. Maybe you put too much pepper on your scrambled eggs. Maybe you've gone against your mother's sage advice and are staring directly at the blazing sun. In any case, a sneeze does not mean a cold. And, furthermore, having a cold does not necessarily mean that you will sneeze.Sometimes I look over the past few days and weeks, and I realize I may be depressed, even though I haven't felt especially unhappy. I experience many symptoms of depression. Here are some of them:
fatigue
loss of appetite (or only wanting a few specific foods for a prolonged period)
irritability
fixation (on a game, a TV show, a person, a song, a conversation, my physical flaws)
anxiety
nausea
arachnophobia (which is always somewhat present but flairs up during depressed phases)
very low or high sex drive
sadness
feeling helpless (not to be mistaken with hopelessness)
headache
lack of concentration/forgetfulness
light and/or late periods
paranoia about other people's feelings and intentions
low self-esteem
compulsion (mostly cravings for alcohol/cigarettes/chocolate/caffeine)
dizziness
loss of interest in normal activities, including hygiene-based rituals
Depression is not the end.
While none of that is fun, it is not the end of me. It is confusing and complicated and it sucks, but that doesn't mean I can't gain anything from it. It's not easy to understand or experience, but I do like having the wherewithal to categorize my mental illness. It helps me feel control over something that can feel completely uncontrollable. Depression is interesting, and I am constantly learning new things about it and myself.I'm excited to share those things with you.
