Today, I received a message from her, and I couldn't keep it to myself. This interaction was so inspiring and helpful. It feels so good to make that connection with someone, and it's infinitely encouraging to feel trusted and valued by someone "out there."
If you need help, give help. It's empowering and life-affirming to share someone else's journey, even if it's only for a little while.
Hey!
I just wanted to send you a private message about how much you
inspire me with your updates. The fact that you're so open about your
mentality is also inspiring. My sister suffers with depression and is
made to feel ashamed of it...as if it's her fault. She's only 17. She
is really struggling with bullying and anxiety attacks from it. Is
there any advice you can give me other than to be open (she's
recently come out as bisexual) and supportive? I'm scared for her and
I thought you may be able to help. I know we haven't seen each other
in awhile and I don't want to invade your privacy, but we seem to
have similar ideals and I thought it'd be ok to reach out to you.
Wishing
you the best!
Thank you. Thank you so much. If she needs anyone to listen or to
talk about serious things or silly things, there is someone who
doesn't even know her, who is dying to learn who she is and how her
life is shaping. And YOU. If you ever want to talk about anything, I
do NOT put a statute of limitations on friendship. And I hope I can
share what you've said. I love to share the support and inspiration
that comes from talking openly about mental illness, sexuality,
abuse, or anything else under the sun.
Absolutely
share it. I just worry for her because I'm the only person she feels
like she can be honest with and I'm so far away now.
If
she needs a stranger to talk to, I'm available. Sometimes it helps to
talk with someone who doesn't know all the bullshit. You can just say
what you need to say and get feedback and go back to life, you know?
Tell her.
I will definitely bring it up to her. High
school feels so tough. And with her being bullied it's worse. She's a
junior. I keep telling her she's more than halfway through it...but I
know it feels endless.
It
really does. High school was miserable for me (except for drama club)
and I struggled with depression and body issues. It's horrible and I
would never tell her it isn't. But it does end. There will be an end
to that bullshit.
She's
having such a rough time because on top of her questioning her
sexuality, she's also on the societal "fat" side and she
likes "weird" things like Dr. Who.
Tell
her there are a ton of people who love Dr Who! Some of the smartest,
loveliest, most talented and creative people I know are obsessed with
Dr Who!
I love Dr. Who!! Even though I think Moffat is a sexist
prick. I try and tell her she's just advanced and open for her age.
She's not afraid of being herself but she's being made to feel like
she should be!
Being
the flat, smart, loud girl made me not-so-popular in high school and
middle school. Those qualities meant I had to develop a sense of
humor. An opinion. A personality. A screening process for friendship.
I am SO MUCH BETTER OFF because I was "weird" for a while!
BUT none of that will make her feel better. She needs to know that
someone wants to get to know her NOW. That there is a woman who
thinks she sounds interesting and smart. You are wonderful and
supportive. You are also required to be. She may just need another
voice. A non-relative. An objective eye.
Yes! Besides family! She told me that she doesn't think
I really know how it feels since I was "pretty, skinny, and
popular."
You
got it. (For the record, I don't think you had no problems in high
school because you were "pretty, skinny, and popular."
But I know where she's coming from.)
But she won't understand until later that nobody
feels "skinny, pretty, and popular" in high school. My
biggest regrets are from high school. Because I didn't like myself.
And so I was just a defensive bitch and now I hate the way I may have
come off to people.
That's
such a valuable thing for her to know! When you come out on the other
side of these hard times, it's SO IMPORTANT to look back and be proud
of your character. She will be such a better person in the long run.
She'll see that short-term rewards are hollow. The most incredible
facts about yourself are earned. They're not easy and they hurt. But
then you get to live your life caring about other people and valuing
yourself.
Absolutely. I totally agree.
Again,
she won't want to hear any of that.
Yeah. It's tough to talk to a 16-year-old.
It's
tough to BE one. She just needs someone to listen. She needs
unconditional love.
WAY tough. We're not so old that we don't
remember!
Guh.
I remember. It seems like yesterday. And also like a dream, something
that never happened.
Same thing!!!
Yeah.
Weird. See? Just talking to someone else...you find out you're not
alone! Someone out there really gets what you're feeling!
Yeah. I'm suggest that she meet up with you for
coffee.
Absolutely.
I'm so busy, but I always find a way to make time.
Thank you so much! I've been thinking about
contacting you for awhile now but wasn't sure if it'd be appropriate.
Never
wonder again. Door's wide open, lady.
Again. Thank you. It's nice to be able to talk
to someone that gets it. You're the best.
Thank
YOU. I'm so glad I got to talk to you. I hope I can help!
