Read a trashy novel, wear sparkly shoes

Kate Middleton Post-Baby is Already Skinnier Than You

-Yahoo Shine headline

Poison.

This kind of "news" piece attacks the reader emotionally and directly by:

• perpetuating competition about body size/shape/type
• shaming mothers and fathers who have not lost "the baby weight"
• equating being skinny with being rich, famous, beautiful, and well-loved
• perpetuating the notion that being healthy and/or thin has a deadline

You don't have to put up with it. Stop reading this shit. It's poison.

There is a lot of pressure inside your head. There are classes to go to; bills to pay; blind dates to go on; deadlines to meet; medication to take; treadmills to pile clothes onto; people to avoid. You don't need this. Just stop it. Read sciencey stuff, especially about how big the universe is. Read about gorillas who are best friends with tiny domestic pets. Read stories about people being nice to other people on airplanes. Listen to plinky plunky music that relaxes you. Listen to peppy crap that makes you smile and sing along. Listen to comedians. Watch videos of several babies laughing at the same time. Watch old people holding hands. Watch kittens and puppies, preferably together, while they run and play and do adorable tiny things.

Stop letting this insane body competition trick you into hating yourself. You're fine. You've got problems, sure, but your very existence is next to impossible. Think of amazing stuff like that. Don't think about this "50 Ways That Frowning Makes You Gain Weight" bullshit. It's fake and it's poison. It's cancer of the spirit. Just cut it out of your life.

Have a cookie. Get your nails done. Punch a pillow.



P.S. I actually read the article and I was struck by something pretty disgusting: "More surprising, we suppose (though, considering her clearly alien genetics, maybe it's not that shocking), she appears to already be back to her pre-baby weight."

So we love Kate. We want to be just like her. She's chic and young and in love and super rich. But she's an alien and we can never ever be like her. It's impossible. But try anyway. Because you love her. You hate her.

Stop it.

I always felt so different and so crazy. -Kurt Cobain on high school

Most people feel this way about their adolescence, don't they? Kurt was famously tortured (and tortured by being famous). Does that make his story ironic? Is this just a case of hearing the same old story from a bigger megaphone?

When young people who suffer from mental illness express their pain, it can be brushed off as "whining" or "dramatic." All teens don't struggle with depression, but it can certainly seem that way at times. How can we tell who is "really depressed" and who is "just looking for attention"? What's the difference? Where is the line?

As a teen living with depression, I found that the real comfort started from within myself and was pushed outward. I wrote, sang, acted, played the violin. I didn't have the resources or emotional capacity to share my experiences directly with other people. I used the arts to bridge the gap and ease the pain. I needed a public platform to become someone else; someone who was well-liked and praised. That's still my main therapeutic activity. I wonder how other kids got through it...

If you have thoughts on this, please share!

Reverse To-Do List

Instead of making a to-do list (which I have running in my head on a constant basis [creating a tremendous amount of stress and guilt] anyway), I make a list of things I've already done. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. It makes me feel like less of a slowed-down, fuzzy brained, useless piece of weeping sludge. When I feel ridiculous, like a waste of space, it really helps to throw myself a tiny parade for each little thing I get done.

Recently, I felt especially desperate and created one at work. It was a slow day, and I was on the verge of a crying fit, so I took pen to paper and jotted down some tasks well done. Or at least done.

Today:

take bath                                    go to psychiatrist      

eat relatively healthy lunch        post queer issues petition 

get dressed                                eat breakfast

get help                                      cry

stay cheerful at work                 sing

drink water                                give coping advice

finish reading a book                 schedule SP work

 

This week:

do dishes                                    go to set strike

have sex                                     drive to Chicago and back    

talk to SG                                   do laundry

go to comedy show                    go to theatre event

spend time with TM                   share pictures

call Dad                                      pay rent

raise money for charity              have amazing latte

talk to EW                                  take a day off

pitch 2 interviews                       eat pastry

deposit wedding checks             book honeymoon

 

This month:

go to PZ's birthday                     go to the doctor     

invite MB to wedding                 look at wedding pics    

talk to MH                                  get married

move MM out                            talk to LG

propose for season                    hug JR

write wedding vows                   dance with OG

 

This year:

plan a wedding                           play Ophelia

baby-sit OG                                bowl with drag queens   

learn to make espresso              start writing for SP  

buy wedding band                      get a lap dance

have 2 bachelorette parties        get a new job

go to JK's wedding                     meet MG

go to SK's wedding                    direct Vacation

go to HJ's wedding                     see Absinthe

go to MI's wedding                     go to Las Vegas

have a bridal shower

After seeing everything I had already accomplished, I promptly gave myself permission to do nothing for the rest of the day. Sometimes that's what you have to do.