There is a woman who can carry on quite
well at a Harry Potter party without knowing anything about the
books; she's never even seen the movies. She ask questions, learns
the vocabulary, and joins in enthusiastically. She has a good time
and fits in nicely with the rest of the fanatics. By the end of the
night, she's discussing the differences between the written series
and the films. You would hardly know she's the person who didn't know
a thing about Harry Potter.
Another person goes to a zombie party,
even though he hasn't seen The Walking Dead or read the graphic
novel. He's going to attend, knowing that he likes the people. He
sees familiar, welcoming faces but doesn't ever feel in sync with
everyone else around him. The chatter and laughter are all based on a
joke he doesn't get. He never quite connects with the people he had
such a great time with just a few days before. They're all talking
about the latest episode of The Walking Dead, and he's been watching
Boardwalk Empire.
Some poor woman goes to a Game of
Thrones party, full-length gown and all. She has read all of the
books and watches the show religiously. But guess what. It's a
Breaking Bad party and everyone's wearing yellow zip-ups. She's seen
Bryan Cranston's performance and it's great. She can't wait to talk
about his relationship with Jesse in season 4. Everyone can see she's
in the wrong costume, of course, but she figures she can get people
to focus on her knowledge of the show. She tries to laugh it off. She
makes an effort to adapt. She ends up explaining her appearance all
night and never gets around to having a normal conversation with
anyone.
The last guy gets invited to theme
parties constantly. He reads a lot of books; he watches movies every
weekend; his DVR is full of the latest shows. Naturally, he'd love to
put on half a face mask and talk about Boardwalk Empire. There's no
way he wouldn't want to put on a cocktail dress and discuss Mad Men
with the best of them. Except he doesn't want to do any of that. He
doesn't want to be a part of this hokey charade. He just wants to
come home from work, take his pants off, and watch his shows in
peace. He'll update his blogs and read some other people's. Then
he'll read another chapter of Game of Thrones and go to bed.
Let me tell you something about people
with depression:
We're constantly trying to pass.
People with depression are invited to
participate in an event where we don't speak the lingo. Some of us are
very good at it though. We can blend in and adapt with a little bit
of effort. But there are times when we just can't find our way
through the crowd, even around loved ones. And some of us can't get
people to look past this one fact about us to see how much we
actually have in common. We just can't get mentally healthy people to
understand that we aren't like them. We might have things in common,
but we don't express ourselves in the same way. It's very frustrating
and we want to fit in most of the time. Other time we just need to be
left alone to be pitiful.
Be patient. Keep inviting us to join in
the festivities. Just remember that we can't always fit in the way
you would like -or even show up at all. It's nothing personal.
Sometimes people get the flu.
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